First there was the 5th October 2010 Hastings Pier Fire. Then there was their communication about how they were affected. If you were affected too:
- How have you been communicating about it?
- What's happened as a result of your communication?
How would you respond to someone making fun of your sadness and tears? The Level 1 response might well be frustration, rage, hatred and/or withdrawl/depression? The response that might come beyond that (Level 2) might be a wish to have yourself understood. Is it likely that you will get that understanding from them?
One way that is more likely to get that understanding is the Level 3 response - by seeking to understand first
what is going on for the other.
Getting to Level 3 - Mutual understanding - enables many possible Level 4 outcomes; commitments to make things better in the future. For example, you may want to live in example, a safer society and to create a more "caring and sharing Hastings" etc.
By learning about what lay behind people's actions you get the opportunity to create whatever you care about that depends on the behaviour of all involved. Level 5 goes beyond making commitments; it tests those commitments over time, bringing the people who made them back together to check out that the plans are working for people and creating what they wanted to create. Sometimes adjustments are necessary to the strategies we have been following; others can help us get real in how we make our dreams of what we want where we live come true.
To seek to understand what motivated an action is not to deny or excuse anyone their responsibility for what happened.
Other pages on this blog:
Home
Mediation Support at Southwater Community Centre
Action for Happiness -A Good Week
Paul C -AKA Lend-It-All Man
Why Move to Hastings?
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